Trust...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight"  Proverbs 3:5-6

I think sometimes we like to put our trust in each other.  My mom always said, "people have feet of clay".  That means people are not God and they do not have the footholds God does.  Everytime I used to put my faith in another, I was disappointed. I EXPECTED, yes, there's that "E" word again, the people to do or be what "I" thought they should be or what they had promised they would be.  I expected to be able to trust them and sometimes was terribly disappointed.  My fault... 

If I give the situations to God and let Him handle them, things end up better, just not as soon as I would like...  Of course, MY time is not GOD's time.  I have no right being disappointed over not receiving MY expectations.

Again, I have trusted and have been misled.  I have a wonderful Accountability Partner.  She is not shy about telling me what she see's and giving me God's word.

As a woman, I can tell you it was ingrained in me when I was little to trust others, to not listen to my inner voice, but to listen to others, who knew better.  If I had listened to my inner voice, I would have not done some of the things I did.  I wish I had listened to to my inner voice over the years.  I think my inner voice was learning to hear God's voice.

Through Denial, I have learned that I cannot Isolate myself anymore.  When I Isolate, I stuff my feelings.  When I stuff my feelings, I get depressed.  AND when I get depressed, I need my therapist.  In April, I will start a new Therapy Session.  Hopefully, before that I will start my Step Classes.  I've completed the 1st part of the 1st Step.  It was very enlightening and didn't enjoy it...lol!!!  However, I do know it opened my eyes about being able to dis-associate.  I learned to dis-associate at the age of 3.  I really think that was when I learned not to trust, completely.  I had my "outside" face which did whatever I was told and whatever I needed to "be a good girl".  I grew up having my "outside" and my "inside".  And, so I lived....until now.

I am going to trust in the Lord with all my heart.  I believe He will bring out the "inside" me.  This is something I look forward to very much.  I will trust in Him and I will listen to what He wants me to be.

I will practice Grace within myself to wait upon the Lord....

Until next time...